Bohemian Idiocy

If you haven't seen this yet (I think Leah posted it to FB), you need to see it now. I reminds me I need to check BoingBoing more often, which is where I first ran across it.

I once made a handpuppet out of a brown sock of Rowlf the dog for a puppet show in Girl Scouts.

Does anyone else think Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem was modelled after George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic? Am I the last person on earth to figure this out?

Mama? Mama!!!

Teh funneh.

1. A lot of you received an e-mail meme from me about what I would be arrested for. Mike was right; the responses were pretty amusing. Most people assumed I would, to quote Leah, "snap at the stupid" and go off physically on someone (or a group of someones) and be arrested for assault. A smaller but still significant faction assumed I would either be naked and/or having sex in public. An even number across these two groups assumed I would be drunk at the time. I love you guys!


2.

Failblog rocks. And can I just say, as a woman who has actually had sex with a man with one testicle, that I didn't even notice until he told me afterwards. And by afterwards, I mean several weeks after we had been together on several occasions. As in, "Holy shit Carrie, you didn't even notice??? I thought you were just being nice and not saying anything!" Again, I was drunk many of the times we were together. I think I see a pattern here. He was a nice guy, though.

Off for a glass of Moscato...

The Regime of Voluntary Inquiry

From the desk of sad and sorry...

We school librarians get really excited about this little 1982 Supreme Court case called Island Trees v. Pico, where the court decided that school boards could not remove library books just because they didn't like them (I'm paraphrasing). While students' First Amendment rights should be considered within the context of a school environment, libraries are kinda special:

While petitioners might rightfully claim absolute discretion in matters of curriculum by reliance upon their duty to inculcate community values in schools, petitioners' reliance upon that duty is misplaced where they attempt to extend their claim of absolute discretion beyond the compulsory environment of the classroom into the school library and the regime of voluntary inquiry that there holds sway.

Regime?

Anyway, today the Supreme Court denied review in a similar case going around in Florida, ACLU v. Miami-Dade County School Board, where the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals found that sure, the school board could remove books it didn't like. Meshuggenehs.

In Pico, the books in question were mostly fiction, the kind you find on many banned books lists: Black Boy, Slaughterhouse Five, Go Ask Alice, etc. In Miami, the case originated because a Cuban exile and political prisoner didn't like a library book about Cuba; he said it didn't paint an accurate picture of the repressive regime there. And? This was in an elementary school. I can't figure out if this is political correctness run amok or what. I mean - you left a repressive regime to come to a free country in order to restrict freedom? WTF? Just the same, the Supreme Court's denial leaves the appeals court decision standing...so school boards in the 11th Circuit (Alabama, Florida, and Georgia) can now remove books they don't like with impunity. And that really sucks.

Anyone else feel that little chill in the air?

Long post, both good and bad

Bad

I was out yesterday afternoon at a district library meeting. Today, DA tells me that as she was locking up library, Bubba descended with all kinds of catered food and teachers from not just our campus, but around the district. Some science department thing, she said. They asked to have everything unlocked, and she told them no (good girl!). This was not a scheduled meeting - no one had asked to reserve our space. Sure, it was available, but that's not the point.

Today, I run into Bubba, and nonchalantly say, "So, I hear y'all had a meeting in the library yesterday afternoon."

Bubba, distracted by e-mail: Yeah, we did.

Me: Well, since there was nothing scheduled it's not a problem, but in the future it would be best if you would let me know ahead of time so we can make sure there is no one else using the space.

Bubba: It was a last minute thing. (Really? People from other campuses and catered food, yet last minute?) It's not a big deal. There was no one using it.

Me: I know, but to prevent problems like double-bookings, it's best to schedule the space.

Bubba: Well, we got kicked out of the lab, so it was last minute. (Note: according to DA, they sat in the back, away from the computers, so why were they scheduled for a lab?)

Me: Yes, but when you schedule time, we can prepare and help set things up for you.

Bubba: It wasn't a big deal.

Me: Well, it's also a matter of professional courtesy.

Bubba: ::whips around from e-mail and lays into me:: Don't you come in here talking about being unprofessional! Professionalism has nothing to do with it!

Me: I didn't use the word "unprofessional". I said it would be courteous to...

Bubba: Don't come in here talking about being unprofessional! yadda yadda yadda.

I was so angry I was shaking. It's been a long time since I've been that upset. And over what? The fact that my principal is putting words in my mouth and not even acknowledging that he could have done the polite thing and scheduled the library like every other person has the couth to do. Fucking twatwaffle.
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Good (or at least kinda amusing)

Distasteful shoe girl from the other day is a library groupie; she's in there all the dang time. Today she was in while a class was checking out. I was fantastically crabby (see above) and was trying to calm down. I noticed her helping students in the class find books, talking about different titles and recommending stuff to kids. She comes over to me.

DSG: MISS. I've been helping kids find books and recommending stuff for them to read!

Me: I know! I saw you.

DSG: I'm proud of myself!!

Me: You should be. You were doing a great job!

DSG: I think I'll become a librarian after my other job!

Me: What's your other job?

DSG: Special operations!

Me: Ooooh, you know what's kinda funny? The CIA actually has its own librarian - did you know that?

DSG: Really?? Awesome!! Or better yet, I could work at that big library - what's it called? By the Congress building thing?

Me: Uh...the Library of Congress?

DSG: YEAH! I could work at the Library of Congress!

Me: Sure you could!

DSG: And I'd let you come in and take you around and let you check stuff out!

Me: I'm pretty sure the only people who can check books out from the Library of Congress are, you know, members of Congress?

DSG: Well yeah Miss, but I'd hook you up. :)

Kids who make me smile

After we shooed out the AM bunch this morning, there were a pair of sneakers on one of our tables. EW. I put them in the workroom until claimed.

Finally, around 1 p.m., student shows up to claim sneakers. I chastized her - "You don't set your shoes on a table. That's just...nasty!"

Student responds: "It's not nasty, Miss, it's just...distasteful."
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Kellie calls work today to ask questions about duties of library aides. I give her some answers, ask DA, give her DA's answers, and then turn to my student aide. Student aide this period will be named VTB - Very Tall Boy. People freak out when they discover he's only in 7th grade - he is about 6'3". VTB is a great, conscientious worker, but has no enthusiasm or emotion for anything. So I ask VTB what tasks he does, and he responds with answers we've already thought of.

Me: What else? Is there anything else you do at this job?

VTB: I do whatever you tell me to, Ms. Damon.

You should be picturing Forrest Gump right now. "Why did you put that weapon together so quickly, Gump?" "Because you told me to, Drill Sergeant?" Identical delivery. And attitude. :)
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Pee Wee has gotten some serious 8th grade senioritis this year. He is very sigh-y and moan-y when we ask him to do anything. You should also know that he has a 1 inch scar on his forehead.

Pee Wee is sitting at circ desk, talking to DA. I am across library, and have just thought of something for Pee Wee to do for me. I am walking toward the circ desk, behind Pee Wee, who has his back to me.

I am still a good 20 feet away when I hear him tell DA, "Man! I can't figure it out - my scar is itching and burning like crazy!!" and he starts rubbing his forehead. DA sees me coming and cracks up. He can't figure out what she's laughing at until I am directly behind him, and I say, "Hey - I need you to go get me some pony envelopes and then read and straighten the 900s."

He obviously didn't know I was approaching him from behind and was kinda startled, but then figured out why DA was laughing so hard. He walks off to complete tasks, still rubbing his forehead and going, "OW!"

That last one will make no sense to Muggles. :)